I am reading The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk, I am fascinated to be learning how trauma is stored in the body. In the chapter Healing from Trauma is the story of Nancy, a nurse, who regained consciousness under general anaesthestic during a laparoscopic tubal ligation. As well as recounting the pain of cauteristaion she endured during the operation, she describes her subsequent trauma.
“I remained chronically hyperalert, feeling threatened by my own thoughts and wanting to escape them…I began to think about dying. I developed a very distorted view of my life in which all my successes diminished and old failures were amplified. I was hurting my husband and found that I could not protect my children from the rage.” After numerous therapists tried to fix her she found one who created a holding environment for her to heal, he believed that she had sufficient resiliency to heal herself. Then “Through Pilates, I found a stronger physical core, as well as a community of women who willingly gave acceptance and social support that had been distant in my life since the trauma. This combination of core strengthening - psychological, social, and physical - created a sense of personal safety and mastery, relegating my memories to the distant past, allowing the present and future to emerge.” The Body Keeps the Score, Bessel van der Kolk
I recognise the three essential elements of Nancy’s strategy because they closely resemble my own solutions to improve wellbeing and build mental resilience; mind, body and social.
During the uncertainty and disruptions of the pandemic, the social aspect has been amplified by lockdowns and isolation. The women in our community reported feeling disconnected, joyless, and facing significant mental health challenges.
As a way to improve my own situation I have developed a menternship* with Donna McDonald. It was a relief to talk to someone who felt the same way, who was also motivated to do something about it. We settled on the idea of community, knowing from experience and research that coming together as a group not only promotes the individual participants’ sense of identity, purpose and achievement, but also helps to strengthen their sense of connection with other people, which in turn reduces loneliness and purposelessness.
Our ideal scenario would be a physical space, a welcoming place for women who choose to find their sense of self and belonging by immersing themselves in Artful Engagement programs which are arts-based practices embedded in mindfulness practices. Weekly gatherings would guide women in the community through a range of art processes to find, explore, and visually express stories from their personal experiences. These activities nurture their sense of belonging and connection with others and nature supported with mindfulness practices. In the respectful community , women could safely explore themes of identity, transition, isolation and reconnection.
In November 2020, we trialled a three-hour afternoon workshop at SideGallery (Red Hill) with a cohort of women, ranging in age from 30 years to mid-eighties; and representing diverse cultural, employment, and socio-economic demographics. The feedback from the fifteen participants confirmed the need and appetite for this kind of community.
“I had such a nice time. It’s a beautiful form of meditation which I have never tried. It made me happy. Art for a non-artist - what an unexpected pleasure.” Sandra
“Love this experience, fab people & artful practices in lovely framed activities. Making connections & leaving a mark which is often hard to do solo. Thanks D&L & everyone.” Liz
“Loved the opportunity to take time for myself, learn new skills that I will use and be in the company of fabulous people. Very gentle intro to art basics, loved the take home aspects.” Louise
Image: SideGallery
Due to …(honestly how often have you said because COVID with a shrug of your shoulders in the last 18 months?) there hasn’t been the opportunity for many in person gatherings, so we have set up a platform for sharing stories. Each week a profile of a woman daring to bare about their joys, inspirations, motivations, mental fitness strategies and frustrations. Each week I get to read stories of courage, heartbreak and finding solace, this helps me to see the other more clearly, to recognise our common humanity, to appreciate difference and to see my imperfect, humane self more clearly. That community is WomxnConnect, so if you’re feeling disconnect click the button below.
*A menternship is a term used by the Modern Elder Academy that is a combination of mentor and intern.